Get Real Mondays

Since my friend Tanna suggested we "Get Real" on Mondays here it goes.

I couldn't sleep last night, why I have no idea....but I finally went to sleep around 4am. I hate that I get insomnia!!! I don't feel well today, I don't like that I feel like a truck ran over me most days. I suffer from Fibromyalgia and Mastocytosis and have a postive titer for Lupus, which they say I don't have symptoms of yet and hope never too. You can't imagine how hard it is some days to keep on trucking along. Most days I put on a great smile and just keep moving even when my body says stop. I hate to have anyone know that I feel like crap, it is such a pride thing. I hate that there are times I really want to serve someone and I can't because my body just won't go. I am in pain a lot of the time, my muscles and bones feel like they are rubbing together or someone has stretched them all night long. I have fatigue that most people can't understand. I have had bad bouts of vertigo for 5 months now and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I break out in hives sometimes daily. I am allergic to everything under the sun just about, so I have to watch the allergy report every day to see if it is okay that I go outside. I carry inhaler, benedryl and and epi-pen everywhere I go because I can go into anaphylaxis at any time. I suffer from migraines weekly and this frustrates me and I am sure it frustrates my family. I take so much medication that I have my very own pharmacy. I have tried alternative medicines, which sometimes help..but other times make me feel worse. My husband is one of the most amazing men I know to be so patient and such a great care giver when I am down. I am positive this takes a huge toll on him, our marriage and our family. I am grateful that God put the most nurturing man in my life.


I don't say all this for anyone to feel sorry for me....I just say it to get real as Tanna suggested. That I don't feel at my very best most days, so if I don't answer the phone or your text it is usually because I am not feeling great and don't want to have to explain it to anyone. And I know that one day in heaven I will have the perfect body with no illness and I so look forward to that day.